Wake up at 10 a.m, watch gossip girl, look for Chuck Bass pictures, play with my iPad, stay in bed. Well, that's how i spend this holiday. I feel something missing in me. I feel that i have no spirit. I feel that everything turns against me. Oh i just can't describe it crystal clear.
I found my sister's friend instagram account. She is now a fashion designer. She's just got her collection shown at Jakarta Fashion Week as Raffless Design Institute graduate. Well i checked all of the pictures in her Instagram. Okeyy. Alll. there are 96 picts *i dont even know how could i remember the detail*
Then, i found myself in silence. drown in my naive thoughts. i also wanna be like her.
That's it! Well, i did not mean that i wanna be a fashion designer. What i meant is that i wanna be successfull and reach my thousand dreams. I came to the same conclusion again, which is i don't even know what is the thing that i really want to reach. Up to this point , i do not know what is my passion. I love reading and writing. But, i am thinking that it will be much better if i can turn my passion into money.
Hey hey, i do not tend to be money-minded. Yet, everybody needs money and i feel that i am not young anymore. I can not write well, i am lack of sophisticated english words. my grammar is not perfect.
Move on, i learned to play piano and violin. honestly, it turns out to be such an epic fail. to describe it in a sentence. music is so not into pamela.
I learned mandarin, i like it, i love it. then i gave it up because i have to focus on my dancing practice preparing for DBL 2011.
I ever think about being shoes designer. yes, i always love shoes. heels, wedges, flat, open toe. i am in love with it. But i am not good in drawing.
I now realize, the answer is , we will always feel that we are not good enough. that is life! the thoughts that we are not good enough should be a stepping stone or things that can motivate us. it is so wrong that that thought remains as a burden.
Good like fellas. Do not let yourself scare because of your dream. Remember, good things come to those who wait. Perseverance will never betray you! Happy holiday