We are weird somehow. There’s a moment when we want things to end very soon. But when the time’s arriving, we wish the world could spin a little bit slower, so that we have more time in the present. Maybe because we simply are not ready to encounter bigger things than what we are facing right now: things that demand more responsibility, dedication and commitment. We are afraid.

I am one of the "we" lately. I am beyond excited that I will graduate and get my Bachelor Degree soon. However, i cannot deny that there's something crippling in inside me, my fear. Fear of what I'll be doing after this. Fear of which career path i need to choose. Fear of whether this path will eventually help me to reach my dream or not. To sum up, I am afraid with the future. My fear is in a question of 

What’s Next?”

I know that I need to work for a living. I need to decide, what I am going to be. As a matter of fact, neither Plan A, Plan B nor Plan C have successfully assured me to go with it. I was faced with a difficult decision that I need to make immediately. I always knew that I was am an indecisive person, but not to this extent. 

Yesterday, I got the answer of what I’ve been praying for. I walked from a fast food chain to boarding house with my friends. As I walked, I observed my surroundings. Huge office towers surounded me. Pedestrians walked quickly, get me the sense of how busy they are. I am at the heart of the business of Jakarta, the capital city of my country! Can you imagine? Never did I thought, even for once, I would eventually stay in this city for this long. And slowly, the picture of me walking down the street in Korea played on my head. I also never thought that I would stay in Korea for an exchange program. It makes me realize that, yes, life is full with surprise. Surprises that leave you in awe for whatever it is. 

Have I made up my mind? Not yet. But, through the prayers and the songs that I listened to, I am strengthened. I fear no more for our hope is forever secure in Him. I come to a conclusion that whatever the path we'll choose, it will always lead us to somewhere. During that journey, we'll discover more about ourselves. Maybe, we like the job more than we thought we were. Or it's the other way around. But, we always have the chance to take a detour and to remedy the situation. I believe that we are gonna make it somehow!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29:11

Once we have done our best, it's no longer ours to worry about. God has His million ways to surprise us. I am still praying for which plan that i should take. In the mean time, this is my What's Next? :
- Find a reason to get up in the morning every day. I want to live a purposeful life. 
- Forget all of the things that I regret, which is still bothering me. I want to make it up, by giving out the best of me for my future.  
- Learn to believe in myself even more. If I don't believe in myself now, I won't later. 

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