It was 2 am in the morning. I rechecked the deck that I was preparing, just to make sure it's comprehensive enough to send to my client. I sent the email, clicked the "sleep" button of my laptop after exhaling super long breath.
Before i sleep, this thought often stumbled on my head. I asked myself "Why doi do this?" , "Why doI have to pursue double job?"
My corporate job has already occupied much of my time. It's not 9 to 5 office hours, Monday to Friday. It's beyond that definition. I am not gonna complain much about it, as my job let me do the things that i love: marketing, story telling, content and stuffs. My second job, the job that i do after 10 pm and Saturday is my startup business called FRASA
that solves company/ startups' need of copy writing. From company profile, sales deck, website content to content marketing.
I am a normal human being, a social person that also want to have the so called 'Balanced Life'. The dreamy life where you are great in juggling every area of your life.
At the same time, i want to achieve my dreams. Lately, I have been struggling about it. I started to ask God whether what I do is right or wrong. I started to doubt my dreams, and my capability.
He answered my questions right on time. Last Saturday i went to Treasure Women Conference meet up held by a church in Jakarta. The theme is 'balanced'. I had no expectation when i joined the event.
The preacher opened her sermon with a question
"What's your definition of balanced life?"
Then she continued "Is it having a job with high salary after graduation, being able to pursue your dreams, being an up to date person, having social life, having a smooth relationship and supporting parents, having strong relationship with God?"
That's so much alike with my expectation that i thought she could hear the voice inside my heart.
She asked whose definition of balanced life is that and who did set the standard. She reminded us that we often set unrealistic expectation of our life.
The truth is, there's a season in life. We have to prioritize what we want to do first in this season. We can allocate more of ours to the thing that we prioritize. It helps us to stay focus. Thus, we won't miss what each season has for us. Each season has each struggle that will mold us into a better person. It gives us a piece of puzzles that we can collect. We might not know what this season is about. But, one day we will know once we have gathered all of the puzzles.
God works in season also. Last year, He has taught me to fully surrender my life on Him, for there's nothing certain in this world except His love. This year, i feel that he teaches me to embrace my place, wherever He places me.
I guess, the definition of having a balanced life is not having it all at once. Because, everything takes time. And i don't think all aspects of our life demand the same amount of time.
So, referring back to the title of this post "Will we ever have a balanced life?"
That's the question that none of us could answer. It depends on our expectation of balanced life itself.
Let's just pray and ask His wisdom, what should we prioritize in this season :)
Labels: dreams, faith, God, life